


All I Can Do Is Watch

by SkywingMage



Series: I’ll Meet You After Dark [2]
Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Blackdale, Jessamine Lovelace - Freeform, Jesse Blackthorn - Freeform, The Last Hours - Freeform, lucie herondale - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28571610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkywingMage/pseuds/SkywingMage
Summary: Jesse wanders through London and chats with Jessamine about his insecurities towards a certain writer
Relationships: Jesse Blackthorn & Lucie Herondale, Jesse Blackthorn/Lucie Herondale
Series: I’ll Meet You After Dark [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115138
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	All I Can Do Is Watch

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys ! 
> 
> I was in the mood to write something related to my fave ghost boy Jesse, especially now that we’re so close to Chain of Iron ! 
> 
> Have a nice reading ❤️

Jesse didn’t know what happened after the daylight brightened up the world.

He simply… vanished.

But during the night he regained his conscience. Every day for seven years. With only his mother and sister for company.

Until that one night at the London Institute. When Lucie Herondale saw him. He recognized her from the Brocelind Woods six years ago.

He remembered how she walked towards him in the ballroom and he took her to the nearest empty room to understand how could she still be able to see him.

After that, every evening, they casually met. And she turned out to be a very pleasant and fun company and a great friend.

Now every night he awaited for Lucie to ask for him to come at her encounter. But some nights he just appeared in her room, eager to talk with her.

Every now and then, Lucie let him read some of her stories, except for The Beautiful Cordelia. He had no idea why she hesitated so much in letting him read it. Lucie always came up with an excuse, or it need polishing; or a chapter wasn’t concluded; or she wanted to Cordelia to read it first. He didn’t pressure her to lend it for him, he respected her privacy, but still he kept wondering why.

Tonight he was wandering through the gardens of the Chiswick House.

The construction was dark, quiet, abandoned to dust and spiders. His mother was sent to the Adamant Citadel and his sister was living with the Bridgestocks.

That place carried pain and loss as well. Some might say it was a cursed place, and, perhaps, it was. But there was something about it that kept Jesse visiting it somehow. Probably because it was the last vestige of his previous life.

Jesse shook his head and left Chiswick.

The next minute he found himself in the steps of the London Institute. Now here there is life. He thought.

He spot Tessa and Will Herondale on the living room, dancing. He heard them laughing and the sound of the music, he imagined it to be a kind of waltz.

For so many years he listened to his mother talking badly about Will Herondale and Tessa Gray. But they were exactly the opposite. They were good people and there was so much love between those two that it was embarrassing and one had to look away. He could tell how happy they were. A happy and loving family.

Jesse turned around the Institute and stopped under the windows of the room of one specific Herondale. Her electric blue eyes stuck on his mind.

He closed his eyes and when opened them again, he was in her room. But the place was dark and Lucie was nowhere to be seen.

Jesse felt his heart sank, if he could feel such a thing.

“She is not here.”

Jesse turned and saw Jessamine seated on Lucie’s dresser.

“She left with Cordelia and James to meet with their friends.” she continued

Jesse sat by the window.

“I know, she told me last night.”

“Then why are you here?” Jessamine gestured to the dark room “At a lady’s bedroom? Especially when she is away!”

“I sense you fear I’m a threat to Lucie’s honor.”

“Indeed.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I would never do such a thing.” his lips turned into a smirk and he glanced at Jessamine “But I can’t deny that I like coming here.”

“Why are you here, Jesse?” she asked delicately this time

Jesse hesitated for a moment. Why was he there ?

“I don’t know.” he pressed his palms together “I had nowhere else to go.”

“You could have gone to your sister.” Jessamine said skeptical “Try again.”

“I needed to feel her presence. Lucie’s.”

“Why?”

“Because, everything feels better when she’s around. Makes my existence seem better.” he dared to face Jessamine and found she was smiling softly. “She makes me better.”

“You love her.”

“Can ghosts truly love?”

“For what I know and seen, love can conquer anything. Even transcend worlds. You are not an ordinary ghost, Jesse Blackthorn. I believe you can feel much more than I can.” she paused and rest a hand over a hair brush, smiling, “Lucie is very fond of you.”

Jesse stared at Jessamine and knew his cheeks were colored red.

“And there’s no doubt you’re fond of her as well.” Jessamine rose from the chair. “If you were, you know… alive, I would love to see you both together. She’s a very dear friend to me. I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

“Why do the things we can’t have and that are unreachable are so…”

“Desiring? Tempting?” he nodded. Jessamine’s eyes looked distant when she spoke again, “To test us, I guess. Because they seem greater, better than what is at our reach.”

Jesse sighed and stared at his hands.

“Sometimes, I wish there was a way for me to come back just to be with her. Day and night. Does it make me a selfish person?” 

“It does not.” Jessamine placed a hand on his shoulder, “But I don’t see how either of you can get out of this without a heartbreak.”

“I love her.” he had never admitted it out loud. The sound of those words, echoing inside of him.

“I know.” Jessamine sat next to him on the windowsill.

“I never thought it could be possible for me to feel such a feeling. I’m protective over my sister, I care about her. The same goes for Lucie. But love like this? I’ve never considered it.”

“You’re trapped between two worlds.” Jessamine began, “Perhaps, your connection with the real world is what makes you feel these things. More than the rest of us.”

“Perhaps.” he echoed. “What should I do?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. But hide or deny it, will only swallow you.”

“I can’t tell Lucie.”

“Can and want are very different things.” she stared him in the eyes. “Do you want to tell her?”

“I don’t know. I… I’m…I fear her reaction, Jessamine. I keep wondering how she would react if I told her. Would she be disgusted? Or would she laugh? Or would she be so afraid and scare of me she would never speak to me again?”

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Lucie?”

Jesse gave a rough laugh. He sighed and looked around the room.

“I couldn’t bare if she never spoke to me again.”

“She wouldn’t do that. And you know it.” Jessamine stood up and looking at him, said: “If you want to tell her, then tell her. What do you have to lose?”

“Her.”

“You are not going to lose her, Jesse. Be sure of it. She wouldn’t want to lose you either.” Jessamine winked and disappeared.

Jesse stood there for more an hour until he heard voices from the lower floor.

_You’re not going to lose her. She wouldn’t want to lose you either._

The door handle began to turn. He only saw a glimpse of Lucie and her blue dress before he left the room.

He returned to the spot below her window and watched as the lights were turned on.

Suddenly, the windows flew open and she appeared, staring at the night sky. Then she looked down, to where he was standing.

“Jesse?” she whispered

But he was already gone.

Her voice following him as he walked through the streets of London.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ❤️
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: @lucie-blackdale
> 
> Next Blackdale work : Clandestine Meetings and Stolen Stares https://archiveofourown.org/works/27578654


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